The Midas Touch…

There was a time in my life where I had a sort of “Midas Touch” enchantment.

Everything I decided to do, everything I decided to pursue was successful and brought golden benefits in return.

I knew I was admired, and envied, by many different people, and that made me feel somehow powerful and proud.

Time passed and my Midas Touch stopped working. No matter how good I thought my ideas were, no matter how much I tried to put them in practice, they seemed not to work, neither to bring the benefits I was used to receive in return in similar occasions in the past.

I got lost! I was desperate! And instead of taking the time to understand the “whys” and maybe design different strategies, I just keep going and forcing my way in the same direction. The result, emotional and psychological injuries that led to a deep fall… and I can tell you that the hole was quite deep…

I started reading everything that would fall in my hands that I believed could help me to get over that moment and find new ways to stand back on my feet again. However... I was too proud to reach anyone for help. A mistake.

In one of those moments down the hole, I remember reading an article about a diver who almost drowned. She told the interviewer that she was in the deep ocean when she realised she couldn’t get up to the surface. She started fighting over it and the more she fought, the more she drowned... She fought up to the extent of exhaustion, then she had to let it go... That was it, the end. 

However, for her surprise, the spot where she was located was not as deep as she thought and she managed to hit the ground and with that she could leverage her little remaining strength and push herself up to the surface.

And she concluded the article saying something like “sometimes in life you have to let it go, hit the ground, to find the strength to get up to the surface again…”

That was it! That was the message I needed to hear. From that moment on, instead of fighting against the situation I was in, I let myself go into it and tried to understand what was around me, and tried to assess what were my possibilities and strengths and, most importantly, what weaknesses I could leverage into power. I then allowed myself to feel all the emotions around me without judgment. More as an observant. Not an easy task I must say. 

Some of those emotions were really painful, physically painful even. The feeling of failure, the feeling of loss, can be physically painful, trust me. However, facing them was the only way I could then understand why and how I let myself fall in such a deep hole. But also had to concentrate on the strengths I had and that could help me to find my way up to the surface again.

It was a painful process. I wouldn't say it was the best that could’ve have happened to me, for my personal growth, as many people do when they hit the ground. (I wished I didn't have to go through such a painful experience.) However, I would say, YES it was necessary for my growth! Some people don't go through such process because they have a different path, or made better decisions throughout their journey.

But, in my case, it was needed to make me realise that, as King Midas, I was able to transform many things into gold but that was not what it was necessary for my happiness and richness in file. 

Most of the things I was building were standing in sand. They didn't have a solid foundation, they didn't have a ground, and in many cases they even lacked essence, they lacked the real me on them. Therefore they were not sustainable. 

It is always great to be an achiever! It gives you confidence and a sense of power. But power without a strong set of values and principles, will eventually fall apart. Power comes from within, not from outside.

Although I always considered myself very spiritual, it was only then that I realised that I was disconnected from my own self. Since when? If I recall life events, I would probably be able to find the "when", but that was not what the main point was. The important thing was to get back in touch and build again the connection with my inner self, my inner power. 

This process has been going on for almost 6 years now. Quite a long process you might say. Not really. In fact, it is a life time process! And I’m allowing myself to live every moment of it. It is just now that I can feel that my Midas Touch is starting coming back, however, in a very different way. I know that the treasures I will create from now on will shine beyond matter. And that is what I’m up too, and that is what I believe is my mission.

A person who I recently met, who I can already address as a friend, told me the other day “Tulia, it is always one step after the other but... let it shine!”


How wonderful!

T

I want this, or better than this!

One of the "mantras" in the Silva Method meditation is "I want this or better than this!"

The principle behind it is that the Universe is abundant; there is more that enough available for everyone! The only thing we need to do is...ASK!

We are the only ones creating barriers in our own path; the ones who don't believe we can achieve that much, go that far, dream that high....

Today I came across this video from an airline company, WestJet, where the company decided to organise a Xmas surprise to their passengers.

What happened was unbelievable! I wish I was there! :-)

However, it reminded me the Silva Method mantra, and I asked myself, "would I have known what to ask for if I had been in that situation?" 

It really made me to be aware that from now on I'll make sure I'm present when opportunities knock my door, and won't forget to add to my requests "I want this, or better than this!"

Merry Xmas to you.

T

Now is my time!

Today I came across these teachings from Deepak Chopra, and I would like to share them with you. Namasté! :-)

“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” Confucius

It is not uncommon to set a goal and then push forward with our eyes so fixed on the destination that we become unaware of the terrain on which we travel. Today we will practice navigating the path toward our destination with fluidity and balance, remaining attentive to our goal with present moment awareness. As we do so, we take a powerful step toward realizing our dreams and living our destinies.

In our passionate pursuit of our life’s purpose, our destination, we have the choice to stay present in the now, which increases our awareness of the many supportive cues and opportunities that arise along the path. Staying connected to the present enables us to enjoy every moment of the journey—the people we meet and the experiences we can enjoy with them—enriching us as we live out our deepest, most heartfelt desires.

Mindful Moment

Sometime today, when you catch yourself projecting into the future, take the time to practice 10 rounds of conscious breathing. Close your eyes and begin to witness the breath as it flows in and out of the nostrils. If it is helpful, count as you practice this, inhaling for a count of five, holding the breath, and exhaling for five. After you repeat this exercise 10 times, notice if you feel more grounded in the present, better able to seize opportunities as they present themselves in the here and now.

Deepak Chopra

What lies beyond...

"Once you conquer your fear of death you'll then be able live fully."

I don't know about you, but I always thought we are here in this planet for a reason, and that we have a "mission". I don't think we just happen to be here somehow and that one day we die and all is over. If that is so, to me it sounds a bit of waste of time and energy.

If I'm going to live just to die one day and that is it, why bother then? Why bother to learn, to improve, to grow, to become a better person, to give, to share...
If all we have is live and die, our existence in this planet would be more like been on holidays, no commitment, no giving, no engagement, just take, take, take.

Since early age it never made real sense to me that we die and that is it. If we look at nature for instance, in nature everything is somehow reborn. Living creatures die to give life to others, things change and transcend their matter to serve in another level of their existence; and why not we?

This is a subject that always fascinated me. The "mystery" around it, the many open questions on "what happen to us when we die?" The golden question! Life after death; reincarnation; discontinuity, continuity and all the derivations and deviations, are attractive subjects to me, even when sometimes they can also make me feel uncomfortable due to my lack of knowledge and higher understanding.

Unfortunately, in our Western culture death is seen like a "curse". Many people don't even want to mention its name to "avoid" it, at all cost! Trying to avoid the inevitable sounds a bit "delusional", doesn't it?

However, once we believe we are here for a purpose and that we have a mission - which I truly and fully believe - we can't keep pretending to be on holidays all the time, leading a passive existence, can we? We have to take responsibility over our actions, and to me, that is our first step towards getting in good terms with death.

Once we do that, we start living fully, and when we live fully we enjoy the moment and have no regrets because we stop the blaming patterns and internalize that life is about experience, is about being active, is about taking decisions, it is about taking the leadership of our own destiny in our own hands through our daily actions.

With that, when comes the day when Death knocks our door, we will open it to her with ease and in peace. Having the peace of mind and spirit of knowing that we lived this life with integrity to our values and beliefs and did our job the best we could, and instead of trying to run away from her, we will then extend our hand and let her take us and guide us to whatever place is the continuity of our own journey...

In memory of all beloved ones who are now in a different dimension.

I leave you here with Deepak Chopra and his insights.

Live and love fully.

T

Holidays

Sorry for my absence. I had the family over the past July, for holidays, and since then, I’ve been recovering…

Having the family over always brings “mixed feelings”. You are happy and excited to seeing them after a long period of time but deep down you know there will be “situations”.

I saw my mother last year, but hadn’t seen my sister and her family for over 3 years.

I used to believe my family was “quite standard”, but more and more, every time I’m with them, I am… let’s say… confused.

After living over 24 years abroad, you might agree with me that it is quite of a challenge to fit within your family “expectations”. Even worse considering that in fact they only expect you to be… the same.

After 24 years???!!!!

Anyway, I was going to be meeting my niece and my nephew again, and was excited about it. Being with kids is always “refreshing” and “revitalising” - considering the amount of energy they require from you, mentally and physically – and for their clear and straight-to-the-point remarks which make you questioning yourself; “where and when did I lose such spontaneity? Is that still recoverable?”

Family arrived, no majors, after the first updates, let’s plan for the holidays.

Surprise, surprise, they had made no plans. They came so see me! Great! I was really grateful and happy for that but, they would be on holidays for almost a month! Well... I had to plan their holidays for them. They didn't have the slightest idea of what could interest them doing or seeing.

Ok. Few ideas were put in place: Hiking tours, swimming on the lake, cycling tours, visiting little charming Swiss towns… and plans run smoothly for a while, I must say. Well, at least until when they decided to pay a visit to the “Blameland”!

You know Blameland, don’t you? Most families I know, and in fact, most people I know visit it quite often, and depending on the moment they are living they can stay there for a quite long period of time.

The problem with the Blameland is, once you’re there it is quite difficult to get out, let’s face it.

I’ve been there for long periods of time long time ago; mostly when I was a teenager. In fact, it seems to attract loads of them. However, there was a period of time in my adulthood that I used to hang around there in different intervals. Until one day I decided that Blameland was not for me anymore. It got too… let’s say… repetitive and unhealthy. I realised I didn’t connect to those visitors anymore. Ok, I can reveal that I had my Blamelandsick moments, but I knew it was not good for me to be there anymore. I had to “let it go”.

The problem with Blameland’s visitors is – and I can tell from my own experience – once you get hooked to it, you bring it with you everywhere you go! You can’t really feel at home outside of it, and for that, you try to recreate it everywhere you go. A real drag….

So, there was the situation, my family and Blameland in one pack. I was surprised to be confronted with it again - I mean Blameland - after not been there for quite a while; and I was also surprised to see how fast it was brought to life by my family.

I was very uncomfortable confronting with Blameland again to be honest, and tried by all means to give my family other alternatives of places to visit. It worked ok for a short while but, they had “this thing” with Blameland and it was not that easy to make them look around and appreciate other alternatives.

And because each person usually has its favourite place in Blameland – my family couldn’t be different - as you might guess, each one’s place is usually better than the other one. So… it is quite difficult to beat Blameland’s attractions. If you have been there, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I tried it. In fact I tried hard to not get involved on those disputes because, at the end of the day, I haven’t visited Blameland that often anymore and want to keep it that way; therefore I’m not really interested on what it has to offer. To be honest, I avoid it, at all costs.

My last experiences there were not positive and at that time I made the decision that I should move on and look for other possibilities because I had this deep feeling that there were better places in this world and in life to be in; and I was dam right!

Believe me, there are plenty of them. Much better, healthier, richer and more pleasant than Blameland. But I suppose that not visiting Blameland for good is a very personal decision; and although it has a deceitful propaganda - once you stop visiting it you can see it clearly - its marketing seems to be quite good – follow the trend!

Well, as for my family, it was clear to me that no matter other alternatives I gave to them, they enjoyed them for a while but there was nothing comparable to Blameland.

As some people might say “there is no place like home”… as for my family that was home! Because, somehow, Blameland is still the place they feel comfortable to be in.

Well… tough!



T

All you need is...

…forgiveness. Then you can love, and be loved!

“Forgiveness engages The Universal Law of Allowance. It requires you to be conscious of the understanding that everyone, including yourself, has the right to be who and how she or he is, at any given moment. Forgiveness is the ability to allow and deal with errors and weaknesses inside yourself and others. It is a way to give up resentment and work through offenses resourcefully. It has the power to heal every part of your being: spirit, mind, body and emotions.” Laura Silva

Some people still believe that forgiving something means implying that what happened was ‘ok’. That is not what forgiveness is about. It doesn’t mean that you can undo what was done, or that you have to forget it. In fact, you don’t even need to like the person you are forgiving! You don’t need to reconcile, nor need you to reestablish a relationship with them, if this is not in your best interest.

There is nothing you can do to change the past physically. However, you can though, change it mentally, spiritually and emotionally. And in order to move forward in a healthy manner, it is vital to learn to let go of the past in order to have a more balanced, fulfilled and pleasant life.

Not forgiving keeps us hooked to, and manipulated by, ghosts from the past. It keeps us attached to negative emotions and feelings that prevent us to heal from those wounds and grow. Not forgiving is in fact, counterproductive. It makes you deaf, blind, and speechless.

Put yourself in the position of the ‘offender’, and consider that you also could’ve been there, in his/her position. The best way of trying to understand the actions of a person in any given situation is by ‘standing in her own shoes and see the world from its perspective’. You might realise that they did what they did based on the resources, the knowledge, tools and wisdom they had in that given moment. Saying that, you will realize in fact they did the best they could.

Separate the offense from the offender and in your heart and soul release the offender and let him or her go.

The act of forgiving is very empowering, and it is something that comes out of your own free will. The energy involved in forgiving is the same energy involved in being forgiven. It fills you with energy of goodness, of freedom of finally letting go of some old burdensome baggage.

We often want forgiveness, yet we refuse to forgive others, and ourselves. The greatest act of forgiveness is the act of forgiving oneself. You can only forgive others when you have already allowed yourself to be forgiven by yourself. 

It will only happen when you allow yourself the understanding that you, too, did the best you could, in that given moment, with the resources, tools and wisdom you had; no matter what anybody else says… 

And, bear in mind that "it is the forgiver that is freed when forgiving."

When that understanding happens, you will be able then to find the joy of living a life that is plenty, with all the love you need.

T
PS Inspired by the teachings of the Silva Method.

Today is a Gift...

And that is why it is called Present!

Since Eckhart Tolle released his book The Power of Now in 2004, a new world opened for many, including me. I was introduced to the book in Spanish about 2006, by a friend who was very enthusiastic about the subject; but it wasn’t until 2010 that when I told myself, “Hmm — let’s take a look at this one.” 

Why am I telling you all of these dates about a book? Well, it’s just to illustrate that, for each of us, transformation happens at different times. And, even if the tools are presented to you on several occasions — in my case by through my enthusiastic friend — transformation, the path to growth, only happens when you are open to it. And instead of saying “The teacher appears when the student is ready”, in this case I’d say, “The student can only recognise the teacher when ready.”

A new perspective on well-being was opened to me with the insights from Mr Tolle’s book. He manages to deconstruct a quite essential subject in a very down-to-earth manner. However, what a challenge he places on our table! Basically, he claims that the only way to achieve our well-being at all levels, mentally-emotionally-physically-spiritually, is by living and being in the “Now”! Past and future don’t exist! 

“Excuse me?” you may well ask. Well, they don’t exist, really. Think about it — the past is gone, and the future isn’t yet here. We can only live today, right now, in the Now! Living in the past only creates frustration; living in the future only creates anxiety! 

But you might say: “Well, but my past is my reference, my past is part of what I am! I can’t just ignore it and refuse to acknowledge it!” Yes, you're right but — the only way we will “build a past to be proud of; a memorable past” is by making sure we’re living a congruent life. When? Today, in the Now! 

Same for our future. You might say: “But if I don't need to care about the future, because it doesn't exist yet, what about my ‘future’? I mean, what about planning for a better life, professional goals, planning to have a family, children?” Yes, we all have to have goals, plan for our future, aim for a better life, and improve ourselves, but — we can only do all of that — when? Today, in the Now! 

You see, there’s no way around it. If we really want to improve our lives, live fully, tackle a problem or situation in order to move forward in our lives, in order to evolve and grow, we can only do it — today, in the Now! 

Tolle’s core message is that most of us spend our whole lives worrying, instead of living, simply because we don’t live in the present. We worry about what we haven't done, what we might have to do; or maybe should have to do or what we could've done; or, if I’d only known, I could’ve — whatever. Again, we’re neglecting the Now, today. 

We need to plan, of course, but we have to take action, today, in the Now! A problem is only a problem if no action is taken about it. When we do act, it then becomes a “project”.

The message is clear and simple: instead of sleeping on our problems, issues, situations, we ought to take action and transform them into projects. We can plan for our future, set our goals, and organize the tasks, and we can do today what corresponds to today. The tasks for tomorrow, do them in tomorrow’s today. And, if we are conscious of that, and put it into practice, when we look back, when we look to our yesterday, our past, even if there are things we believe should still be improved, we will have the certainty that we did the best we could with the resources and knowledge we had at the time, in the past’s today. And today we can improve them with the resources and knowledge we’ve accumulated, which will contribute to a better tomorrow.

Simple? Yes, the concept is. Easy to implement? Not at all! It requires the willingness to make that leap to change, when only you know when enough is enough! 

This whole concept was a true revelation to me. It really made a substantial shift in my way of seeing my life, the situations and people around me, and, most importantly, it released an enormous weight from my shoulders! Once I understood that the only way to have a balanced and fulfilling life is living today, I stopped worrying about tomorrow, because it doesn’t really exist! Only today matters! So, instead of creating factitious issues for tomorrow and turning them into problems, thus generating anxiety, suffering, frustration, depression, and so on and so forth — let’s live today, work on our projects today, enjoy our moments today, live life fully, today! Not yesterday, not tomorrow, Today! 

I personally know people who’ve spent and keep spending most of their lives and time waiting — waiting for the right time to do X, Y and Z; waiting for the right time to wear, or use, something that was given to them; waiting for the right time to — start living! 

The only day to prepare, for a memorable past and an amazing future, is today! It is a work in continuous progress; it requires a permanent state of awareness and constant vigilance. But speaking from my own experience, it’s worth it. Let’s not waste it!

"What day is it?" asked Pooh.

"It is today", squeaked Piglet.

"My favorite day"! said Pooh.

Have a great day!

T

Talking about.... Charisma!

“You have just one opportunity to make a first good impression!”

I’m sure you heard this one before, right? Well, guess what? It is TRUE!

Our body, our posture, our presence tells a lot about us! Non-verbal communication is our primal survival skill. Before verbal communication, that was the most important skill we had to recognize the message coming from other being, if the encounter was going to be friendly or aggressive. And, based on the outcome of that “impression” depended if we were going to be shaking hands or turned out to be the main course of someone else’s diner!

Studies show that takes only TWO seconds to make this “vital” decision. Fight or flight.

If it is only two seconds what we have to create a first good impression …. We better get it right from the beginning!

So, what do we have to do, or to have, to create this first good impression, to be this nice and welcoming, pleasant person that everybody loves, everybody wants to hang around, everybody wants to listen to?

What about improving our Charisma!? You are probably thinking… “but charisma is something we are born with”…, right? Well, Olivia Fox, in her book, The Charisma Myth, demystify the subject and tells us that charisma is something we learn in a very early age of our lives. But the good news is.... we can still learn it as adults.

Sharing Olivia's insights I also believe that mastering Charisma can improve our nonverbal communication. Charisma is about Presence, Power and Warmth.

Presence is the real core of charisma. To be present not only means to be physically present, it really means to be connected, to build trust, to be engaged with the person you are talking to, with your audience. You really need to be a good listener. Otherwise you can be seen as inauthentic, and nothing ruins trust and charisma faster than being inauthentic.

Being Present is about showing people that you care; that you want to connect to them; that they matter to you. Remember this:

People don’t really care how much you know, until they know how much you care!

*Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone were both politicians of extraordinary ability in the Victoria Era in the British Empire. However, their personalities clashed and they heartily loathed each other. 

Jennie Jerome was Winston Churchill's mother, an American, who happened to dine with both man in a certain occasion and she declared: "When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman in England." *

Guess who Queen Victoria “picked” for the powerful position of her Prime Minister in 1868? Mr. Disraeli, of course. 

Charisma is not just how we make people feel about us, it is also about how we make them feel about themselves! Don’t try to impress them, let them to impress you! And show it!

Second element of charisma: Power.

Power is our perception of others' ability to affect the world around them! It can be through raw physical abilities, money, positions, influences, etc. We look for clues of power in the person’s appearance, in others reaction around that person, but above all, in the person’s nonverbal communication.

As per Amy Cuddy, a Harvard researcher in body language, changing our pose/posture can influence not only the perception that others, our audience, have of us but can also change our own brain, and therefore our body physical expressions.

She made a study where people were asked to be in a room and to stay for 2 minutes in different poses, which were called High Power Poses, and Low Power Poses. After 2 minutes in each pose those people were put through some tough job interviews for 5 minutes.

And guess what? Not only the people involved in the experiment reported how differently they felt after each different pose (more confident or less, had better results on the interviews, or not, depending on the pose), but also some hormone levels of their own bodies changed after the experiment in each different pose.

It was reported that after the High Power Pose, the level of Testosterone (the hormone related to power) increased substantially while Cortisone (the hormone related to stress) decreased. And, after the Low Power pose experience, the level of Testosterone decreased (less power) and the level of Cortisone (more stress) increased.

What Amy Cuddy wanted to prove with this experiment was that not only our minds can change our body but also, the other way around; our body can change our minds.

When we assume a “High Power Pose”, we feel more powerful, and our mind 'believes' it; and internally we have a chemical boost (where anxiety decreases and assertiveness increases), and that makes we feel great! It is a cycle. And our job is to keep this cycle going. How?

When athletes are learning how to perform, they use imagination/visualization to condition their brain to get to the mental state they need for peak performance. We should do the same.

And the good news is… our mind doesn't differentiate imagination from reality! If we start conditioning our minds to become something we really want to become, and work on that, and believe we can achieve it, our minds will then believe it too, and in a matter of time it will become part of us.

Third aspect of charisma: Warmth!

We perceive warmth almost entirely through body language and behavior. It is evaluated even more directly than power. And, the bad news is…. We can not fake it!

Warmth is fully related to AUTHENTICITY! And as I mentioned before, been perceived as inauthentic is the worse that could happen to any person. And as leaders in our fields, if we are not authentic we won't have the power to motivate, inspire, influence others. In fact, no one will follow us.

Authenticity is related to self-confidence. When you are happy to be who you are you come out as you, nobody else, so, you are authentic, and people might love or hate you, but they can’t say that there is some “hidden agenda” about you.

We can change and improve our posture, polish our gestures depending on the environment we are, we can correct bad habits when in public, once we are aware of our body expressions.

But we can not really learn body language, otherwise we will be performing/acting, we will be inauthentic. Body language, our nonverbal communication comes from within. From whom we are. It is a real expression of how we feel about ourselves, our beliefs, values and emotions.

To enhance and improve our nonverbal communication, our body language, we will have to work from within; enhancing our self-esteem, confidence, and then expressing ourselves naturally from deep inside.

Charisma is the utmost expression of your nonverbal communication, of your body language. Once you work on your self-confidence, enhancing your charisma, taking into account: your Presence, your Power and your Warmth; you can then relax, because your own body will do the job.

And two seconds will be more than enough for you to give a first great impression, and deliver your message in the most amazing and authentic way.

YOUR WAY!

T

Word Matters – Empower your vocabulary

“Words…. They’ve been used to make us laugh and cry. They can wound or heal! They offer us hope or devastation. With words we can make our noblest intentions felt and our deepest desires known.”* 

It is interesting to observe how certain words can trigger different emotions or actions in different people. On the other hand, an experience can reveal a different set of words to express it, depending on each person.

Why? Because each word has an emotion connected to it which is based on our beliefs; and our beliefs define how we express ourselves and the words we use. It is a circle.

Most of us are aware of the power of the words, the power that many great speakers have to influence us, to move us to action. However, many of us are not conscious of our own power using words.

How do you place your words?

Think how the same message given in a different wording can change completely the emotional energy connected to it. It is for this reason that words directly influence how the spoken message is perceived.

It is clear that some words can lead to uplifting and empowering sensations, while others just cause the opposite. It all depends on the emotions “we” attached to them. And I say “we” because the emotions we attach to words are directly related to our culture, our values, our beliefs.

Some words might be ‘neutral’ to certain people, not transmitting any special and/or strong emotions, while to other people they could be even offensive. And, this can become quite tricky sometimes in the ‘globalised world’ we currently live in.

The way we express says a lot about ourselves. The words we choose to express our thoughts, tells everything about us!

We all should be vigilant and use our words conscientiously. We have a huge responsibility in using them wisely. Once they are said, we can’t take them back! The emotions they carry with them will affect all persons present, and can provoke different reactions. And, if misused, they can cause wounds that are quite difficult to heal too…

To some, those misuses - which I call verbal abuses - are justified by a way to express their inner emotions. “I’m upset, I don’t care, I say what I feel the way I feel…I scream, I curse, I do what is necessary to pull it out!” 

Pulling out words to express an upsetting emotion is part of a healing process, but it should be a very personal process; throwing those words around won’t help to minimize the pain, in contrary, in most cases, only contribute to expand the ‘upsetting emotion’.

However, if we watch our emotions and choose to change the words attached to them, giving them a more positive approach, using uplifting words, I’m convinced that we can then change the emotion in the first place, and then improve our well-being altogether.

Listen to yourself, what kind of words do you use daily? Are they empowering, or disempowering? Are your comments, your feedbacks constructive? How do you see life? Does it sparkle, or is it blurring?

We can start with small changes in our daily expressions, for example, instead of saying “I hate this…” try to use “I prefer this…”. Telling someone "I have a different option about this...", has a completely different impact that saying "You are wrong!"... Besides, who holds the truth? Right and wrong depend on our personal beliefs.

Mother Theresa once said, “Don’t ask me to fight against war; ask me to fight pro peace!”

I’m convinced that we can transform our lives transforming our vocabulary. If we enrich our vocabulary with words that are motivating, uplifting, tender, compassionate, constructive, caring, loving, so on and so forth; our life experiences will be transformed.

Choose your words, empower your vocabulary and improve your life!

T

*Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within

I'll be there one day, and you too....

Yesterday I went to the cinema to watch "The Quartet".

It is such a touching movie about life itself and everyone's struggles in facing the inevitable... growing old. Despite of the toughness of the crude reality - which each of us will face sooner or later - the story develops in a way that lifts everyone's spirit. It was a delightful movie, I must say.

Today, a friend posted something which falls under the same subject and I thought of sharing with you.

"When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. 

We will all, one day, be there, too!" 

T

Find your balance and aim high!

With the New Year come the resolutions.

For most of us it is the time when we look back and check how much we have achieved, what is still missing, and what we could do better during the upcoming year.

For the past five years, at this time of the year, I have taken the time to write down what I wanted to achieve the following year, and which areas of my live needed improvement! I usually divide my wishing list in four areas – following the teachings of one of my ‘indirect mentors’, Stephen R. Covey – called the four dimensions of life: body, mind, heart and spirit.

Stephen says, these four areas are interconnected; therefore in order to achieve our goals successfully we would have to think on them considering each of those areas and aim for the balance amongst them. This is the only way our goals will be sustainable; which means we can achieve now, later, and even later.

Finding the balance will impact the totality of our lives, our ability to think, to give and receive love, our sense of our own worth, our value as a human being. It will enhance our own potential; it will develop awareness, self-awareness; integrity.

And, integrity equals integrated which equals connected. Once we are connected with our own self, once we develop self-awareness we will be able to perceive that everything around us is interconnected, and so are we. And a new and amazing world will unfold around us.

We all have dreams, we want to achieve many things, but it all starts with action and one step after the other. Take a pen and a notebook and begin writing down your goals, not only for 2013 but for your life, thinking of you in each of these four areas, and what you want to improve and achieve in each of them. For instance:

- Body: to become healthier

- Mind: to be a constant learner

- Heart: to nurture our relationships

- Spirit: to serve and contribute

Enjoy doing it. Think of everything you know you deserve. Find your balance, aim high and go for it! Remember, every journey starts with the first step. Dreams only become reality with action!

Create your Private Victories! You are the creative force of your own life.

Wishing you a wonderful and happily balanced life.

T

The Woman in the Mirror

When I was a child I used to talk to a woman in the mirror.

We were best friends. We shared so many things; we combed our hair together; we even did our first make up together, when I secretly took my mother’s make up box, and we tried all shades and colours before she could catch us.

We spent a lot of time together telling each other stories. I used to tell her what I would like to be when I grew up; it was one of my favourite pastimes. We really liked each other. And she was with me all the time, because mum gave me one of her old powder compacts — there was a mirror in it, so I could take her with me everywhere.

As I grew older, many other friends came into my life: girlfriends, boyfriends, and “the boyfriends”. Life became very busy; there were so many things out there to discover, to talk about, to engage with.

As time passed, the women in the mirror became ever more a blurred image, until the day she finally disappeared, and I completely forgot about her existence.

Career took place; serious relationships took place; serious commitments took place; serious decisions took place. Life took charge like a river, and I was going with the flow.

I was no longer a girl when one day after a shower I had a fright! I looked at the mirror, and I saw a woman! I didn’t recognize her at first. She was not old, but she looked weary, tired; she had a very sad look in her eyes. In fact, I felt very uncomfortable looking at her, and my first reaction was to run away. But she looked back at me; she looked into my eyes; and a chilled feeling went through my whole body, up and down my spine, and I knew I had to face her.

I tried to start a conversation, and said “Hi, who are you?” She looked back at me, a bit surprised, and in a calm and sad voice replied, “Don’t you know me anymore?” I was confused. “Did I know you before?” She evinced a shy smile and looked at me intensely. “We used to be best friends,” she said. “Really? I don’t rememb… Oh — OMG, yes, I do remember you now! It was a long time ago. Yes, you’re right! But — you looked very different back then”. “Yes, indeed, I was very different,” she replied.

“What happened to you?” I asked. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, “I’m not loved any more. I’ve been forgotten by the one I loved most. In the past years everyone else became more important than I was. Before, we were great companions, we shared many things, we told our secrets to each other, and we had such plans for our future; our love for each other was our strength, and there was nothing more important than that. We knew we were beautiful, and we were very happy. Everything around us was worth living because we were together, because we were one.”

I could understand perfectly what she was saying. I couldn’t recall the time I felt such love anymore; I was, myself, very lonely, lost, trying to find where the river of life was taking me. I’d lost control; I felt I was being taken somewhere I didn’t know. I wasn’t happy, but didn’t know what to do or who could help me. In fact, I was quite scared.

I looked back at her and asked, “Can I help you?” She looked at me for a long, while — then she finally opened up with a big smile and said, “Yes! Actually, the truth is that you’re the only one who can help me. I’ve been waiting for you all these years. I felt desperate sometimes, but deep down I had the hope that one day you’d come back. Yes, you can help me. Give me your love, and I’ll be able to be what I was meant to be — that beautiful woman you used to talk to when you were a child, the one you admired, the wise woman who shared all your secrets, the one you believed was the most wonderful and loving, the one who could spread and share love wherever you took her — the one with whom you enjoyed the happiest days in your life. ”

I felt overwhelmed. I felt sad, but at the same time there was a tiny sense of joy deep inside me. Maybe it was the hope that I could again feel everything she was telling me. Although I was confused, and didn’t really know how to get started, I felt happy to know that my love could help her, the woman in the mirror.

I made her a promise that I would love, cherish, respect, and admire her every single day of my life. I gave her my word that I would always be with her. I don’t need to have the powder compact with me, as when I was a child, but I reassured her that I will always keep her present.

Since that day, there’s a routine I follow every morning: I get up and go to meet her at the mirror. She’s already there, waiting for me. We both smile at each other and I greet her: “Good morning, Darling! You’re looking wonderful today — even better than yesterday. I’m always so happy to see you. Look after yourself, and don’t forget, I love you. Have a great day!”

Since then, the woman in the mirror has blossomed. And it’s visible that she’s happy, she’s whole, she’s wonderful! All the love I give to her, I receive in return, multiplied. Finding her again really changed my life for the best.

She told me she will be 48 next month, and I can tell you, she looks gorgeous! I love her dearly!

T
PS Image by Francoise Nielly

Greetings!

The first time I heard people greeting each other in Ireland I was a bit puzzled…

Once you ask an Irish person; “How are you?” the answer is, “not too bad…”

What is that? ‘Not too bad?’ What does it really mean? Those questions popped into my mind. I didn’t know what “not too bad” really meant. And to be honest, still don’t.

In what kind of ‘state’ are you, or is your life that can express and define, “not too bad!”? You are not bad, but you are not good either; and neither too bad… really confusing.

It was clear to me that it couldn't be a positive state, therefore, I never used it when someone greeted me. I preferred using “I’m very well, thank you.”

It is funny thinking about it now; but it was definitely something that bothered me, somehow. Maybe because, despite of not understanding the real meaning behind it, it couldn’t fit into my spontaneous positive nature. :-)

In Brazil, when someone greets you, the question is not really “how are you?” it is literally “Is everything good?” To which, your answer is always; “everything is good”. And, in a more informal environment and/or with friends, the answer will be just “everything”. Which I believe is even more powerful because it really means EVERYTHING!

Few years ago I met a guy; today he is a friend; who when asked the same question, “How are you?” He first would open a huge smile (and he has a beautiful one!) and then answer, “Excellent!”

WOW! Isn’t it wonderful, and powerful? His excellency was contagious, it immediately affected me. I felt I wanted to be excellent too. And decided copying him every time I had the opportunity until it would become a spontaneous answer to a greeting.

I truly believe that we are the ones who design, and define, the greatness of everything around us, and in our life. Through the way we think, and the things we believe. And, this projects and defines the way people see us, and how our lives unfold around us.

Of course, keeping an upstanding state of mind requires first awareness, then, vigilance. It is an endless work and commitment to oneself.

So, “excellent” was a conscious choice for a greeting answer, it was going to be another tool to be used for my self-improvement, as a whole. Until recently, when I came across an answer from another friend that excelled my excellent answer!

I immediately thought to myself, “That is it. It fits me up and down, sideways, and inside out!” It falls into everything I believe, and work for. It is a must to be used, and be grateful for!

Therefore dear friends, from now on, when I’m asked:

"Tulia, how are you?" 

I will proudly answer:

"Excellent and always improving!"

T

Just the body….

This was what the Vet said to me when I asked: “how would you carry him?” She replied, “well, we will put him in this plastic bag… I won’t recommend you to see it… but, you know, in the end… it is just his body….” 

I’m quite sure she didn’t mean in a bad way. In fact, it is just the body anyway when you believe there is something else somewhere out there once you leave this physical world. But the idea of having him, my beloved companion for the past 13 years been referred as “just a body = skin and bones”, made me even sadder than I was.

I left the room and retreated myself. I didn’t want to see him carried away in a plastic bag. Then it came to my mind one section of Steven Covey’s book (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) which 3 years ago hit me quite hard, and made me ‘re-analyze’ how I was leading my life. I will share some extracts of it with you:

“ … Picture yourself going to the funeral of a loved one… As you walk inside the building, you see faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel share sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there.

As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life.

… you look the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family… The second speaker is one of your friends…. The third speaker is from your work or profession… And the forth is from your church or some community organization where you’ve been involved in service.

Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, mother… son, daughter, cousin...friend… working associate?

What kind of character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions… achievements would you like them to remember?... What difference would you like to have made in their lives?...”

And the big question was: “Are you leading your life, through your actions and behaviors, to achieve that? To be remembered, and valued the way you would like to?...”

My most loved Chico had gone. Although I could say that he had truly lived his life in a way that he could only be remembered as the most joyful, trustworthy, loyal and honest friend ever; for the ones who knew him he could only be remembered at utmost level of character integrity; still, for someone who didn’t know him, he was just a body….

Which made me to realise that when we reach the end of this physical life, for some people, no matter what, we will be just ‘a body’; easily disposable…

But it also reinforced to me that, if you lead your life with integrity, and honesty to yourself above all, once you leave this world I’m positive that there will be more of you than a body to be remembered in someone’s heart.

To my beloved Chico who left us the past Friday, August 17th.

You will always be in my heart ‘bola’!

T

The Element

In an interview to El Pais, Lang Lang, the Chinese piano player, told to the interviewer that when he was in his early teens he failed in a piano contest and his father told him “…you have two options: you can jump through the window right now, or can take some poison.” He said he never talked to his father since.

When you learn about Lang Lang’s career, and all his success and contribution to the musical world, you can only feel amazed and show respect. Despite such proposal coming from his own father, and many other adversities, he trusted his own talent and pursued his dream.

Many people wouldn’t have had the strength and motivation to keep going after such remark coming from their own father. But Lang Lang did, and succeeded.

The question is: “what makes people to keep going under such adversities, and where do they find the strength?”

As per Steven Jobs: "Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle."

In the other hand, Sir Ken Robison, in his book The Element, explains that we have to find our Element in order to find true happiness and fulfillment in life. He says, “The Element is the meeting point between natural aptitude and personal passion. When people are in their Element, they connect with something fundamental to their sense of identity, purpose, and well-being.” And he adds, “…many people have not found their Element because they don’t understand their own powers; they don’t understand their true organic nature; they don’t understand their constant potential for renewal.”

It is clear that Lang Lang understood them all, and from an early age. And so Steven Jobs, and all those people who faced so many adversities in their lives and not only kept going but excelled in whatever they decided to pursue.

Finding your Element sometimes means breaking rules imposed by your own personal, social and cultural environments. Therefore, I believe that what brings us to our Element is passion!

When you do something with passion, no matter how hard it could be, instead of taking away your energy it fuels you with it; even when you are physically exhausted. It is when there is no distinction between work and pleasure; they blend in such a powerful way that the more you give in, the more you get back.

It is only when you find your passion and love what you do that you find the strength to stand up every time, and any time, you fall. Finding your Element is to transcend this physical world, it is when miracles happen.

I leave you here with Lang Lang at his Element!

Friendship

Few weeks ago I went back to Spain to a event organised in Puig de la Balma by my Toastmasters Club, Prestigious Speakers, and I had to deliver a Speech After Dinner.


I decided there was not a better topic than talk about them, my friends, about our friendship; how much it mattered to me.

There is so much one have inside when talking about good friends, special friends, that you really need some time to deliberate what, and how, you want to express your feelings towards them.

I had prepared my speech very carefully, and felt my message was clear and expressing my sincere feelings towards them. I was confident that it was going to be a good one.

The first emotion came when seeing them at the meeting point to go to Puig de la Balma. Many questions about each other lives, many laughs, lovely weather, and all the excitement of a great time together.

We travelled to the place, and the entertainments started straight away: Music, drinks, and more laughs.

Dinner finished and there was my time to be in the spotlight. Our lovely toastmasters colleague Julia, made a wonderful introduction of myself, which I honestly was not expecting, and for my own surprise I was overwhelmed by emotion. And guess what? I forgot the speech completely. A full size blank mind!

I started apologising and our colleague Florian shout loud "oh please start over again!" And, as in any Toastmasters gathering, everybody started clapping and cheering up!

More claps, more yuhus...! I had to sit down, to take a deep breath - at this moment my mind was spinning around thinking "you can to do it, you have to find the way to start, c'mon Tulia!" - And after few seconds which lasted almost an eternity, I was able to get started.

I can say my delivery was far below of what I had planned. I forgot certain parts of my script, and was not happy with that at all just after I had finished. But then I thought, does it really matter? No, it doesn't. What really mattered was that even with blanks and blackouts my message came from my heart, and I know they could feel it. And I felt the warmth coming from everybody around.

I was amongst friends!

In the Middle Ages, King Arthur's Knights, congregated around a table - a round table. As the table had no head, it implied that everyone who sat there had equal status. The table was founded in patience, humility and meekness.

The Knights of the Round Table were well-known for their honour, honesty, valour and loyalty - for the strong bond of friendship amongst them.

Around the 5th Century, the Celts believed, "friends are the ones who would bring light where the soul could shelter. And where there is light, there is life. And, the soul awakens with light."

Taking the Celts and the Knights' wisdom, through friendship and with our friends, we should aim to learn to respect and accept our differences with patience, humility and meekness.

And, with that to strengthen our foundations, where throught giving we gain most.

Friends, my blog friends, your friends are the most precious assets you can ever have in this lifetime. They are your soul mates; they are your chosen family in this lifetime journey.

Cherish them, enjoy them, celebrate them and with them.

To you, to all my friends and to the honour of being called friend back!

T

Bach

Coming back from the Toastmasters Conference in Poznan - Poland - we had a stopover in Leipzig. 

A lovely medieval city in Germany where my favorite baroque composer – Johann Sebastian Bach, is buried. 

St. Thomas Church (Thomaskirche) was the place where he was choir director from 1723 until his death in 1750. And even now, the choir of the Thomaskirche, the famous Thomanerchor, founded in 1212, is one of the oldest and most famous boys' choirs in Germany.

I always find visiting churches a fascinating experience. The devotion and, in many cases, obsession of mankind with trying to reproduce God’s image and to reach Him through their art and music, can many times be overwhelming. However, none of those expressions can diminish the faith and artistic value of their actions.

Music, I believe, is the closest and purest communication with God -- and all invisible forces/energies -- that mankind has ever achieved, and Bach’s music is a perfect example of this.

Ever since an early age — I started playing piano when I was 6 — I felt connected with something when playing, or listening to, any piece by Bach. There is always a dialogue in his music — called counterpoint: the relationship between voices that are harmonically interdependent — which, on the piano, can be clearly felt with each hand.

Sometimes these dialogues are harmonious, other times they are not, but in most cases, despite all dissonances, the dialogues always finish in an agreement, in harmony, as if an inner and deeper peace is found.

I was absorbed by my thoughts listening to the Bach music that was playing in my mind, trying to imagine what it would have been like to be there, with him playing in that very church I was walking around at that moment; feeling the powerful energy emanating from the church (I believe all churches have a different energy), finding peace and enjoying the moment.

My emotions were already flowing through my body when I reached Bach’s tomb at the centre of the church’s altar. I thanked God, the Universe, for occasionally sending to this planet people who leave such a strong and beautiful legacy, as Bach did.

I was looking down at the tomb and thanking Bach for everything he left to us, when I saw a small note in a corner, almost hidden by the flowers people had left there. I couldn’t resist reading it:

“Barcelona 2012,


Gracias Maestro por ayudarme con tu música en uno de los momentos más difíciles de mi vida.


Ana X X X”

Ana, whoever you are, I have to confess that somehow I could feel your pain and… I couldn't control my tears...
This piece of music is for you.

T

Elvira and Ivan

Elvira, a Uzbek nurse; Ivan, a Cuban engineer; married to each other, living in Cuba in early 90s.

One day Ivan comes to Elvira and tells her that he heard that, in a country called Ireland, he could find opportunities to give them a better living. And a plan was set. 

After selling all family’s few possessions, Ivan left for Ireland with the hope of a better future for him and his family, leaving Elvira and their little boy behind with the promise that he’d be coming back.

Two months after he left, Elvira discovered she was pregnant by him. She panicked. She thought to herself that she was not going to have a baby alone, so she made up her mind and decided to follow Ivan’s footprints. They had a very limited way of contacting each other, so she didn’t have a chance to tell him her plan, but she had made up her mind.  Nothing was going to stop her.

Leaving Cuba was troublesome. As a  Uzbek  she could only go back "home", to Uzbekistan  in the former USSR —  nowhere else. Therefore, it required a lot of preparation, visas, permits, and luck. There was no money left. She had to sell everything she could: the family’s silverware, jewellery, furniture, everything. The money she got from the sales was only enough to buy the tickets for the boy and herself; not much was left.

At that time there was a flight from Cuba to Uzbekistan with a stopover in Shannon, Ireland. The plan was, when arriving in Ireland, during the boarding transfers, she would run to the immigration and ask for asylum.

Elvira left Cuba, to cross the Atlantic Ocean, with her son, carrying her baby in her belly and a small handbag under her arm. No suitcases, nothing else, not even a look back. Not even knowing where or how, she would find Ivan.

When she arrived at Shannon, she knew she had to act fast. While waiting for the next boarding, she tried to think straight about what to do, and how. She couldn’t speak the language. She hadn’t seen the Immigration desk. She was extremely nervous. In her small handbag she had a set of underwear for herself, and another set for the boy, and some cash - $2 US dollars. She took the boy and walked to a kiosk to buy something to eat; only to realise that the money she had was enough to buy only two small sandwiches.  She bought one for the boy, and for herself a pack of cigarettes, which she smoked one after the other, trying to calm herself down.

When the next boarding was announced, she took the boy by hand and ran into the restroom, went into one of the cubicles, and locked it. She was sweating, panicking, trying to keep the boy quiet, not really knowing what to do, praying to God to give her some light; and almost collapsing when she heard their names called over the loudspeakers.

She couldn’t recall how long they stayed there; one hour? three? She doesn’t know. When she felt a little safer, she decided to leave and go in search of the immigration desk. She knew she had to act fast; if the police were to get her, she’d be in serious trouble, and they would be probably deported. She had to find the Immigration desk at any cost!

She looked at the boy and said, “Baby, no matter what, just run with mummy, ok? “

She left the restroom, trying to act normal, trying to see straight, and trying to find the Immigration desk. She felt as if her eyes were defying her; she couldn’t see clearly and she couldn’t even breathe properly. When she thought she was about to faint, she finally spot the Immigration desk. She ran towards it and stood in front of the Officer, and then, she collapsed — and fainted!

She woke up with many Officers around her. She started speaking the only words she knew in their language: “Asylum please! Asylum please!” They couldn’t speak her language, either. But her boy could speak Spanish, so they organised a Spanish interpreter.

And, finally, through her 4 year old boy, she could tell her story.  And she made it clear: “I’m not leaving this country without my husband!”

They were taken to one of those ‘Asylum seekers shelters’, and after a month or so, she was finally reunited with her husband. She was 7 months pregnant at the time.

When Elvira told me this story, her story, she was already working in a hospital, Ivan was working in an IT company, they had bought their own house in Dublin, and she had had not only one child after her arrival in the country, but two beautiful girls.

I heard many stories about Cuban immigration to Ireland, and to other countries; I heard many stories about immigrants and immigration in general. I’m an immigrant myself, and I also have my own story, which also had its struggles.

But, Elvira’s story really touched me. The scene of her and the boy at the airport in Shannon, locked in the cubicle, hiding from security, then running to find the Immigration desk — I still don’t know if it was an act of courage or despair, or both.

If I could say something about Elvira’s story, I would say that it put into perspective for me that for some people, between them and the opportunities of life, there is a huge gap, much wider and much deeper than the Atlantic Ocean.

But not even that can stop them!

What I really learned from Elvira’s story, my friends, is, “What lies between us and our dreams and our desires, should only be our determination to make them into reality.”

 T